My phone is dead. I don't care that my phone is dead. I haven't ventured to plug it in in three days. I need to get my driver's license renewed. I don't care that I need to get my driver's license renewed. I can't stomach the thought spending an exorbitant amount of precious time in the confines of the DMV. The sun is finally shining. I really do care that the sun is shining. I want to plant flowers and revel in the newness of springtime. However, for the last three days, I have sat on the same corner of the same couch wearing the same oversized flannel shirt. My hair is disheveled; my eyes are bleary. The computer sits precariously on my lap, but I really want to throw it across the room. Even the Ameilie soundtrack is beginning to sound trite and tiresome. The number 18 flashes through my mind. I imagine an airplane with this number on its banner flying across the threshold of my psyche. Can I finish this in 18 days?
If not, it's okay. I can take until the summer. That being said, however, I want to finish. My sailing had been smooth until this point. Too smooth. It figures that I would hit this speedbump in my last chapter.
I bite my lip again. I look around. I do this when I'm thinking of just the right words to type. Things never come out right the first time; it's unfortunate. One more sip of diet coke with no ice. Then, back to the drawing board it is . . .
"I suppose half of writing is overcoming the revulsion you feel when you sit down to it. All through the middle section of this last novel I had to wade through tides of revulsion every day." --Flannery O'Connor
At least I'm in good company.
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I'm sure you will do great! Maybe taking a moment to go outside and revel in the sun for five minutes would allow you to return feeling better about it all...
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the writing! :)
While certainly not the big point of your post, the DMV is usually quiet at about 4:50PM mid week. The last few times I've gone at that time, I've had to sit no longer than 4-5 minutes. I think most people are more concerned with getting home and away from work at 5ish than they are running errands, so if you can be one of the few in the "running errands" category, it may work out ;-)
ReplyDeleteHope you get your paper done!