Ramblings of a Beggar

I have been in a broken state, lately, I have been wanting to write a blog for awhile, but I just couldn't gather all the words that I wanted to say. I have joked with many of my friends that I am thinking about becoming a nun, however, that involves two things: 1. A vow of Celibacy and 2. A vow of Silence, none of which i believe that I can fully accomplish for 5 minutes, much less forever in this life, so i throw that idea out the window.

My second thought is to move to a far away land and disconnect my phone...I think I have been reading to much Eat, Pray, Love. You see, it is very easy in life to run from problems and to become discouraged. It is easy to throw in the towel and full give up on life, our job, people, relationships, hope, or even God. It is far more difficult to remain in the place you are and battle through the mundane.

I hate the word mundane and mediocre. I want to be extraordinary! I want to change the world! I want to make a difference! But then I am faced with the hard core reality of who I am....I am weak, frail, tired, poor, needy, and broken. I make mistakes and I fail. I am a bad friend and often not a very good example of love, kindness, and selflessness. When it comes down to it, I am just a beggar in the hands of God, asking that he will bestow his undeserving grace upon my life. But maybe, that is exactly the very place that I need to be----After all a nunnery, Italy, India, or Australia, will not change the core of who I am...but maybe, in Lynchburg, VA, tomorrow, I will have a change of perspective and recognize my ability to thrive in the very place I am. Seeing my weaknesses and frailty as a result of my strengths.


With Love,
EM