It has been said that “You reap what you sow” or in the words of our good friend Justin Timberlake: “What Goes Around Comes Around,” I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Sometimes, it is a very scary thought to think that what I reap I will sow, I think that is because many times what I’m sowing has no value in the grand scheme of things. Sure, we’d all like to believe that we make a difference and impact on the lives of others and that we give more than we take, but sometimes I think that we would be very surprised to discover who we really are, deep down inside. If I am honest, when I was much younger, I looked at the world through rose colored glasses. I gave all that I could possibly give and did not expect anything in return. I distinctly remembering my brother telling me that he couldn’t wait to see what I was like in 5 years after the world had made me cynical. I assured him that would never happen to me, Miss Positivity.
I still think in many ways I see the world through rose colored glasses. I am an eternally optimist, I see the good in people and I love deeply, sometimes too deeply. However, there came a point in my life when I began to notice how easy it is to become cynical and give up on people after facing many hurts, betrayals, bitterness, unfairness and cruelty that can be seen in the world or even sometimes in my own life. Perhaps it starts with a small scar, but then if allowed, that scar bursts into a full blown wound. I have seen the results of this in my life as well as the lives of others. We excuse our cynicism with “I was hurt so bad by that person,” “they did me wrong,” “I helped that person out, but they used me,” “I gave it my all and got nothing in return,” “it’s ok to hurt them, they hurt me,” and suddenly we find our lives lived like of a cynic. Nothing shocks us, nothing surprises us, nothing hurts us, or nothing moves us. We become void of emotion, feeling, compassion, and/or love. There are many times that I have come to this place in my life: “I GIVE UP! I QUIT! THIS ISN’T WORTH IT! PEOPLE AREN’T WORTH IT!” But then I am reminded simply: “you reap what you sow.” The refusal to offer kindness, compassion, generosity, fairness or love, does not ease my prior pain, nor does it demonstrate a life that is lived for something great than me. I *should* offer these things out of an overflowing of gratitude.
I’m sure it doesn’t shock most of you to know that I am always behind on watching video clips (though I keep up with the news pretty well), for the first time today I watched the going away speech of Conan O’Brien. I was pretty moved by his class, rather than choosing to bash NBC for what they had said to him, he choose to thank them. The part that got me the most was the part at the end where he said: “And all I ask is one thing and this Is please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. Amazing things will happen. It’s just true.”
I think that we have all had people who have hurt us, disasters that have struck us, hearts that have been broken, unjust things done to us, people that have treated us poorly, jobs that have been unfair to us, times when we were left wondering how to pick up the pieces, but if you begin to look at your life through hurt, rather than through joy, you begin to see a very distorted picture of what really exists. I want to be a woman who has been through a lot of hell and hurt, but continue to remain as kind, caring, compassionate and loving as I was when I was younger. This doesn’t mean that you let people use you, but it means that you give, love, encourage, forgive and serve with reckless abandon, remember the very place that you came from. Am I this person all the time? Absolutely not, but I’m a work in progress. You begin to find, in life, that doing all of these things in spite what others have done to you, becomes a reward. It is better to give than receive. My life is abundantly blessed when it is becomes less about me and more about others. Suddenly, the things that i have faced in my life, are a gift to offer to others. My pain can become a blessing in the life of another person(s). Seeing pain in my life as a necessity, reaps growth and maturity in return. You reap what you sow.
Plus...cynicism doesn’t look good on anyone! :)
With Love,
Em
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I beg to differ; I look dashing in cynicism ; ))
ReplyDeleteI wrote a super long comment and then blogger decided it would error out and say that it couldn't post it. Basically it said this:
ReplyDelete1) One should learn from his/her past and view the present and future through it, even if the past is painful. Not doing so will only lead to more pain of the same kind.
2) There's a difference between being realistic and being cynical. Realistic means "They've said they'll change 10x before, and they haven't, so while I hope they do, I don't really believe them this time." While cynical says "They said they'll change. I don't believe them, and there's absolutely no hope." The difference is hoping for good and hoping for bad.
3) God draws lines with us and sets boundaries. We can do that with people. It's not wrong, and it's terribly smart. The only two outcomes from what you just wrote are: 1) The person uses you 2) You draw the line and let them go (and let God handle them either supernaturally or through someone else).
4) Ignoring one's past, or, not looking through our past (even the hurtful times) to see our present leads to one living behind a facade. Being anything other than realistic is fake, but one can be perfectly realistic and remain hopeful at the same time, even if one knows that more than likely, the outcome will be negative.
5) "I was hurt so bad by that person,” “they did me wrong,” “I helped that person out, but they used me,”..."
That can lead to bitterness, anger, spitefulness, etc., but not always. Continuing to place one's life in the hands of someone that continually does those things doesn't show that one is loving and compassionate...it shows that they don't love themselves, or see their life as God sees it--precious and priceless. It's not cynical, or evil, to say those exact things and then follow it with "I've given them as much of me as I can, God help them."
I think it ultimately comes down to a healthy view of yourself from God's perspective. Loving people without being intelligent about it is not what God calls us to do. It'd be like flying over a poverty stricken country and dumping all of our money into the air, hoping it does some good. That's exactly what loving, serving, forgiving, etc., with reckless abandon is doing. As we are stewards of the money God has given us, so also are we stewards of the love he's put in our hearts to share with others. We are to use discernment, our intellect, and the Holy Spirit to guide us in how we should expend that love. And while God is infinitely loving, we are not, and I'm certain that he doesn't expect us to act like we are.
Great thoughts, Steven, thank you for sharing!!!
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