Hello again from the friendly confines of Clover Cabana. It's American Idol night, and as usual, we'd like to share our very important and musically informed opinions with you all.

However, first, it is necessary to note everybody's current whereabouts and/or activities. I am not sure what Oli is doing, but she is on her computer attentively listening to the fate of Sioban (I won't pretend I know how to spell this). Emily is blowing up balloons on her computer. I should clarify: she is not literally blowing up balloons. She is popping them with some sort of button thingee. Well, I don't know how to describe it really. Pertaining to the contestant named Aaron something, Emily says, "I bet Chicken Little is in the bottom three." Oliga starts squawking like a chicken. Melvin is offended by this. He likes Aaron,who I will now refer to as 'the little so and so'. Trisha has not been mentioned yet, but she is here, quietly lounging on the couch.

Okay, now the guy who sings "Whatchya say" is performing. We collectively agree to like him, but we collectively don't know who he is. Emily suggests that "Chicken Little" shouldn't be listening to the vulgar-ish lyrics he spews. Melvin states, "I think the little kid is a better singer than this kid is." Oliga types. Trisha listens. I try to get this wretched kink out of my neck. Wow, "Whatchya Say" guy can spin like a ballerina and walk on point. We learn his name is Jason M something or other. Kara reveals her pride for said singer. That's sweet. Simon also likes him: "That was absolutely great. Well done." I guess he's not in the bottom three.

(Enter David Archuletta. His hair is different. He kind of looks like a Beetle with this bowl cut. He sings "Imagine all the people living for today." Good song, David. Emily thinks he is boring. The crowd wails and screams and Ryan asks the same annoying questions, blah blah blah.)

Exit David Archuletta.

Enter the bottom three.

Little so and so is up on the chopping block. Simon thinks he's boring but good. Melvin is getting defensive about Chicken Little. He says if he goes home, he'll never watch this show again. Emily is still blowing up balloons. We are all speculating who should go home. Oh boy! Chicken Little might be going home. NO! He's safe. Melvin punches the air. Melvin punches his chest. Melvin hugs Trisha. Oliga makes fun of him for making fun of us. He's the only one who seems emotionally charged about this.

(Enter Rhiana. She looks like a statue. Emily says "at least she doesn't have a bruised up face this time." We stifle laughs. Ack, she's a gorgeous woman. Some girls are welding their stomachs. It's strange. According to Em, I've just lost talking privileges. Em says she sings "Oh baby I'm a rock star" every morning. We speculate about whether or not she wears an accompanying body suit. Actually, Oli thinks Rhiana bought Brittney Spears' body suit at a yard sale. Melvin thinks the performance is terrible. Due to my previous inappropriate comment, I refrain from speaking. The show goes on. Exit Rhiana.)

Okay, that's the end. Bye bye Big Mike. I liked you.

Sad end.